Bob Brezsny's Astrology Cracks me up

I'm glad I'm entertaining you, buddy, but my opposite numbers at the County DSS are decidedly not amused.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Sometimes you're cool, but other times
you're hot. You veer from acting aloof and distracted to being friendly
and attentive. You careen from bouts of laziness to bursts of disciplined
efficiency. It seems that you're always either building bridges or burning
them, and on occasion you are building and burning them at the same
time. In short, Aquarius, you are a master of vacillation and a slippery
lover of the in-between. When you're not completely off-target and out
of touch, you've got a knack for wild-guessing the future and seeing
through the false appearances that everyone else regards as the gospel
truth. I, for one, am thoroughly entertained!