Monday Monday, can't trust that day...

Today was not a difficult Monday - a good thing, too, because I didn't get much sleep last night.  I think I had all of four hours of sleep and then a brief nap this afternoon (and I'm not a big nap person - wish I were).  This weekend has been one of contradictions on so many levels.  On Saturday, I did not go to the Sip 'n Knit, rather I stayed home and chilled out, doing nothing but knitting.  The Solstice yarn is knitting up beautifully.  Right now, the shawl looks like a pile 'o knitting havoc, but I have faith that it will be a thing of beauty come blocking time. I figure it will take 145 rows of 315-319 stitches per row, this including cast on and bind off.  I have until Friday, April 3rd to finish it.  This means I MUST do 7.25 rows per day.  So far, I've been on target, give or take a row. You KNOW I'll be up all night on the 3rd doing this, but that's OK. It's a pretty Classic Elite yarn and it's really a joy to knit.  

Yesterday was a triumphant .performance by the Orchestra of St. John's and I was happy to help in any way I could - setting up chairs, moving music stands, selling tickets at the door and finally getting up into the choir loft to listen to the most awe-inspiring accoustics.  Those old architects knew what they were doing when the constructed churches! They (the Orchestra, not those mid-19th-Century architects) played Bach's Brandenburg Concerto No. 3 with itst thrillingly fast third section.  Then they played Mozart's Eine Kleine Nachtmusik (Serenade in G for strings), and the heart-rending Adagio for Strings by Samuel Barber.  Finally, outstanding string students from our area played along side the professionals for Tchaikovsky's Serenade in C for Strings. After receiving a richly deserved standing ovation, Ron Mutchnik entertained the audience with a whimsical quote of Al Jolson/Eddie Cantor's "If You Knew Susie" in the style of Mozart. The audience were delighted and I can safely say a good time was had by all.  Colleagues, friends, fellow churchgoers and community members were present.  The concert was a success and I am so happy for Nancy and Ron and all the Orchestra players!

Afterwards, there was cleaning up and striking down and some of us went to dinner.  The more I think about that dinner, even as delightful as the company was, the more I think I shouldn't have.  John was home and what I didn't know was that all save one of our progeny were home. Luckily, I left at a decent hour and was able to have a nice visit with the grand girls and to have a chat with K to see how she was feeling. By the time all was said and done, I had fallen asleep on the chair in the den, and woke up to John having already gone to bed and the kids finishing up a game in the kitchen and starting to head home.  I finished up the dishes and did a little knitting to keep on schedule, answered e-mails, got my file ready for today and toddled up to bed.  By the time my head hit the pillow it was 4 AM! The alarm rang all too soon at 7:30.  I managed to squeak out of bed and hit the shower by 7:45 and was in court early enough to be prepared.

Geez, no wonder I was tired this afternoon, LOL!

Since yesterday, I have been feeling very sad.  I don't like to write about negative things here, and really, it's nothing negative about anyone.  It is just is.  I know that for some reason, I've offended a friend, someone I thought was one of my best friends.  I could point to a bunch of different things that on their own add up to nothing more than vague paranoia, but put together ad up to that subconscious observation that some might call intuition.  The problem is, I don't know what specific thing I've done. There are things about this that hurt terribly, but I don't want to discuss them here.  I just feel terribly alone right now, so I'm not blogging as much as I usually do.  I've lived before this person and no doubt I'll live after.  Please don't get me wrong: family is so important and I love them dearly, but they are at that point where they have their own lives - and that's as it should be.  So friends become very important and when that goes wrong, I feel very lost.  Right now, honestly it feels like I've been dropped into some alternate universe where the rules have completely changed on me. I'm not looking for sympathy, just writing about this to try to make some sense of it. As if:)

I am hoping to find out the results of Friday's "bibopsy," but as one dear person said to me, "don't worry until you have to" and that is excellent advice which I can well do when it concerns myself. Not so easy when it concerns one's offspring.

Oh well, this thing is getting silly, so I'd better sign off now.  Until next time, dear 3.5 readers (or those of you who are still awake), God be with you 'til we meet again.

+